Upon getting back from traveling to Thailand, Bali, India, France, and Sweden by myself seeking out healing for my autoimmune disease, I began writing it all out. I needed to understand all that happened. Was I healed? I knew reentry back into my home country would be challenging and to be honest, I wasn’t sure what exactly I was supposed to be doing. But I was determined not to become a “professional traveler” and take off to a new country every time I felt like I needed to have purpose in life. I was also determined to not only continue creating my own reality, but also to find financial success in a way that felt fulfilling for me. I’m in this for the “hard work” (work that may not find immediate financial results – but will eventually prosper) rather than what I like to call the “long work” (work that is day to day long and hard, and lucrative almost immediately, but without lasting effect on the world).
I began writing as a way to understand everything that had happened in my own head, as I knew I had grown in so many ways, and I also still needed to heal my autoimmune disease. I had gone out into the world seeking healing, and didn’t heal, but learned the tools I needed to be able to heal in a secure and healing environment – my home town. It has now been a little over a year. I have spent the past year practicing yoga 5-6 days a week, meditating daily, eating (generally) healthy, teaching, and writing. Healing takes time when you’re doing it from the core!! When I first started writing, I wasn’t sure if I was going to publish or not, but about 3/4 of the way through, it became apparent to me that I needed to publish, because I would be denying the inevitable if I didn’t. “Doing my part” is just part of my path.
At this point, I almost feel like my decisions aren’t even made by me. I can lie to myself and pretend like I don’t know what I’m doing, observe the fluctuations of my emotions (my doubts and fears), but I know that in the end when I sit down to meditate, that voice, that guidance, that higher self, whatever you wanna call it, knows what it is doing, and I just need to continue to trust in the Universe and I’ll be fine. I’ll admit it’s quite a nice feeling, to feel like you’re just riding the flow of life, letting it take you the way you’re supposed to be going. It’s like letting the rip-tide take you out to sea, instead of fighting against it, trying to stay close to the shore, living life in fear of whats out there.
I’m starting this blog/ website, because apparently, I need some sort of “PLATFORM” if I want to publish a book. (insert eye roll emoji here) I’ve had a decent amount of literary agents interested in my story and me, but when I say I have no platform, they are hesitant to represent it. Sounds like a business, eh? It’s quite possible that I will self-publish because of the time that it saves (publishing takes at least a year), but I’ve realized I should still have a page to direct people to if I want to go that route.
All that I am for sure of, is that this journey is still happening, and I’m still enjoying it as I’m on it. And that’s what matters most. My health is wealth, and I have not felt this good, mentally and physically, than I have in years. I’ll keep listening to my body and my higher self and keep pursuing a path that is beneficial to myself, and hopefully others, when this book comes out!!!